Blog Post
Losing Loved Ones
- By Ryan Sheehy
- •
- 07 Aug, 2017
- •
I know it's hard but it must be discussed
Losing a loved one isn't something I can sit here and describe to you. No words ever spoken can do that. That said, we must move forward. Look, I'm not saying it's easy or for that matter, ever gets easier. If you're here for the long haul though, let's dive into this.
We must face death. It's inevitable for all of us. I think many of us think about our own impending death until we are snapped back to realty when we lose someone we love so dearly. No matter how it happens, you're never as prepared as you think you are.
I speak this from experience. I held my grandfathers hand as we moved on from this world when I was 12 years old. He battled cancer for a few months, we knew what was coming. It was still hard. 2 years later, my other grandfather suddenly passed away and I still find myself having difficult days thinking of him. About 3 years ago, my mom lost her Three and a Half Year battle with Cancer. Again, we knew the end could come but when it finally does, you're never ready.
Does the pain subside? With time, it becomes less sharp but still heavily present. Knowing this, you essentially have two options to choose from.
Before I continue, please understand I'm not trying to belittle losing a loved one nor trying to simplify death.
What I've personally learned to do for myself is to focus. I've simplified my grief process. I either focus on one of two choices I allow myself.
1) Only think about the loss, what once was. Essentially the negative, depressive option
2) Focus on what that loved one meant to you and how they'd want to you carry on. Would they really want to you sad, depressed and not carrying on?
From my perspective, I believe that to be the case (#2). Whether it be a friend, grandparents or even a parent I believe they would want to you carry on. Live a full and happy life.
Also, there are always others things as well. For me, my family. My Beautiful wife and amazing children. Everything I have in my life, the man I am is due in large part of my parents. In this case, I specifically focus on my mom. She would want me to remember her always but move forward in life both for myself and my family.
So I choose Happiness, Love & Life.
I still have moments when I have difficulty. I hope you hear me when I say this, it's ok.
You're allowed. I'll say it again, you're allowed.
Allow yourself to mourn and also allow yourself to find happiness. The mourning process is like anything else, it takes practice. It's difficult at times but find the will to continue on.
You don't just owe it your loved ones, you owe it to yourself.
Peace and love to you & your loved ones.
We must face death. It's inevitable for all of us. I think many of us think about our own impending death until we are snapped back to realty when we lose someone we love so dearly. No matter how it happens, you're never as prepared as you think you are.
I speak this from experience. I held my grandfathers hand as we moved on from this world when I was 12 years old. He battled cancer for a few months, we knew what was coming. It was still hard. 2 years later, my other grandfather suddenly passed away and I still find myself having difficult days thinking of him. About 3 years ago, my mom lost her Three and a Half Year battle with Cancer. Again, we knew the end could come but when it finally does, you're never ready.
Does the pain subside? With time, it becomes less sharp but still heavily present. Knowing this, you essentially have two options to choose from.
Before I continue, please understand I'm not trying to belittle losing a loved one nor trying to simplify death.
What I've personally learned to do for myself is to focus. I've simplified my grief process. I either focus on one of two choices I allow myself.
1) Only think about the loss, what once was. Essentially the negative, depressive option
2) Focus on what that loved one meant to you and how they'd want to you carry on. Would they really want to you sad, depressed and not carrying on?
From my perspective, I believe that to be the case (#2). Whether it be a friend, grandparents or even a parent I believe they would want to you carry on. Live a full and happy life.
Also, there are always others things as well. For me, my family. My Beautiful wife and amazing children. Everything I have in my life, the man I am is due in large part of my parents. In this case, I specifically focus on my mom. She would want me to remember her always but move forward in life both for myself and my family.
So I choose Happiness, Love & Life.
I still have moments when I have difficulty. I hope you hear me when I say this, it's ok.
You're allowed. I'll say it again, you're allowed.
Allow yourself to mourn and also allow yourself to find happiness. The mourning process is like anything else, it takes practice. It's difficult at times but find the will to continue on.
You don't just owe it your loved ones, you owe it to yourself.
Peace and love to you & your loved ones.